Do they feel it too?
This...this feeling of unfulfillment?
Of complete monotony day in and day out.
Or am I the only one?
The only one to yearn for more, yet unable to adequately express what.
Wishing, hoping, begging the powers that may or may not be.
Just for a chance, any chance.
A chance to be "Someone".
A chance to be "Remembered".
To never be "Forgotten".
Do they feel it too?
I sit in the silence, I walk through the dark.
I wish for a partner, someone to lead me.
Someone to tell secrets, or keep to myself.
To not feel forced, or like I'm doing it wrong.
Someone who'll speak their mind, not make me guess.
I wish for a lover, a friend through and through.
I sit and I wait.
I sit and contemplate.
What I do what, what I say.
I sit in dismay.
All my thoughts at my words.
They split into thirds.
What I need.
What I want.
What I have.
All these things in my mind.
They all seem to hide.
So far down inside of my head.
I sit here again unsure what to do.
I sit here again and I think about you.
Because lately it seems I'm feeling empty.
So I think back to when it wasn't just me.
I know it's not smart.
It'll tear me apart.
But lately I've been thinking of you.
I dream of what I truly want. I stop and think about it. Is this really what I want? Should I settle for this? Should I aim higher? Is what I want even feasable? I hope to god it is. But I'm convinced it isn't. Who would allow me this? What have I done to deserve it? What CAN I do to deserve it? But it's a dream, right? Something I aspire towards. Something I'd give anything to achieve. Surely I'm allowed this. Surely, surely...
I am lost.
I know not where to go.
Left? Right? Should I go at all?
Should I wait for someone to find me?
Is anyone looking?
Will anyone even notice I'm not there?
I do not know.
And that frightens me.
Someone help me.
I am lost.
I cralwed slowly because I was unsure.
I was rushed because I could not keep up.
I walked free because I knew no better.
I was chastised because I didn't stay within the lines.
I ran because it was faster.
I was told to slow down because others could not keep up.
I learned to walk so as not to hold others back.
I stayed within the lines to avoid making waves.
I slowed down so I didn't leave others behind.
I conformed because I lacked the power to do otherwise.
I hated myself for my powerlessness.
I wrote it down because it made me feel better.